A dose of reality

As I sit here in the waiting room for what seems like the billionth time this year, begging for yet another answer and a solution , I have realized how truly blessed I am. My health has taken some questionable turns, my body has put itself through more than it should ever have to but I still have it. I am able to clear my head by running miles a day. I am able to eat what I choose and carry myself throughout the day. I have weaknesses and there are aspects of myself I wish could be better. So I have a little pain. I also have so much more. I have the ability to wake up every morning in a clean, safe house filled with so much love. I have a handful of people that I can rely on in any situation. I have food on my plate at every meal and plenty in between. I have a job that I love and the ability to influence so many young kiddos. I have a dream to chase and the resources to do so. I have so many opportunities and experiences to learn from. And yet I sit here in this faux leather chair where people whose lives may be in jeopardy have sat. This same chair has held expectant mothers, transplant receivers, nervous loved ones, and everyone in between. But right this very second, this is my chair. A frustrated twenty year old who has spent so much time being angry that I have pain and no answer. Maybe it was this seat that provided the realization. Do I believe that a chair has the ability of passing on wisdom? No. But I do believe that it does take time to understand the journey God has put us on. I am on this road because I am strong enough to excel on it. It isn’t about finding the exact reason behind the pain you have but rather about realizing that pain is only one part of life. So much more of it is knowing that being thankful for all the amazing pieces of life make the pain seem not so important. I have spent so much time trying to find the right pill. The right medication to make the pain go away. All I really needed was a dose of reality and a new outlook on life.

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brennabeluga

Just a lost soul trying to make sense of the world

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