I flaunt a shallow mind because the depths of my soul have been humiliated. I’m sarcastic because no one takes me seriously or vice versa. I scream “I’m strong” because I feel broken. I crave quiet nights in more than hectic nights out simply because I feel alone either away.
This world is crammed with colorblind sheep, with people all working toward a similar goal and yet clawing at each other to get there first. I play my part but dread every second. I find myself defending why I see color more than relating to individuals who want a change.
I see the ugly, I feel it in my bones. and yet all of you refuse to acknowledge it. you throw blame and fault at individuals pleading for help, who see a darker shade of gray. you abide by all of the rules and expect others to do the same despite the difference in resources and accessibility.
I wake up everyday embarrassed of the nation and the world in which we live, scared of the people I surround myself with. and yet, I abide by the rules. I play the game. I baa right back.
I’m frightened, I’m bored, I’m searching for a way to thrive in this fleece flavored world. I play a little differently, with a little bit more sass and spice. my relationship with this world and the people in it is that of a toxic affair. some days it are my weaknesses that do not live up to the needs of others and sometimes it is the way of the world that puts me at my lowest point. we give and take, we try to change one another. I am left to fight my way through this world- through the fear, through the boredom. just another sheep but with access to the colors of the world- access to a different visual, a different dream.