Letters I will never sign, #1

I wish I knew what exactly happened between us. You left, that is the simplest way to put it. Then, you came back and instead of welcoming you back with open arms as I think you expected, I asked you to leave again. I finally had a sense of who I was without you. my entire adolescence had you by my side- I never questioned my life without you in it. But when you knocked on my door, you found that wasn’t who answered. instead, you found an individual who was scared, hiding behind a veil of strength and new opportunities. Regardless of the fact that this person was dependent, was offering the world to a person who was going to destroy it, I needed you to leave again. I needed you to give me the space to find who I was without your rescue. But you didn’t, you never left. You wanted to be a hero, my hero so badly. You wanted to avoid me being “the one that got away” so terribly that I ran instead. Your persistence, something I used to adore, was the fuel behind my fire. You never expected the word no- you were taken back by the idea I didn’t want a savior. And yet, you utilized every resource possible-searching for a weakness you could exploit. You cut off my resources, you limited the amount of people I felt safe to communicate with, you made me feel as though my life was no longer confidential or my own but that my decisions influenced your life as well. You tried your best to show me the beauty of love, of compassion, of friendship. You simply showed me what happens when two people who have loved each other whole heartedly attempt to forget the passion and befriend one another. This isn’t gonna work.

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brennabeluga

Just a lost soul trying to make sense of the world

2 thoughts on “Letters I will never sign, #1”

  1. Love your writing āœļø with which you express all the emotions. I am sure everyone has faced such emotions at least once in their lifetime . I am glad you are inspiring everyone around you to lead a life full of love and compassion.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words. It would mean the world if even one person related to it. Thank you šŸ™šŸ»

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