Particles, Breaths, and a Sea of Water

Some days, I feel more two-dimensional than alive. Like the characters in the books I read have more air in their lungs than me. I forget that my mood is completely dependent on how the waves are crashing amongst the grains of sand over 1,000 miles away and how that crashing is completely dependent on the moon in the sky. I forget I am a work of art, covered in freckles of all shapes and sizes, bruises, paper cuts, and black ink, each with its own character and story.

Some days I feel like a painting, pressed against a wooden frame and hung up for some to glance, some to ignore, and only a rare few to stop, look, learn, and really appreciate. I forget that there is magic flowing through my veins, that no other individual on this planet has experienced the emotions that make my heart beat in the same ways that I have. I forget that there are literal sparks happening amongst the synapses of the memories of my brain.

Some days, I feel like a victim of circumstance- a bystander to all the tragedy, hate, ugly that exists in this world. And other days, I remember that I am only particles of dust, breaths of oxygen, and a sea of water held together by fragile, pale skin. Three-dimensional and awake.

Being Human is Overwhelming.

Human emotion is inevitable. There are highs and lows, setbacks and leaps forward- you simply cannot avoid it. You can only suppress them, push them under the rug, or claim a steady trajectory for so long before you are literally blown off track and implode.

We as humans are designed to make mistakes. We eat shitty food, we skip the gym for a day or 365 of them, we hurt one another, and we beg for forgiveness- a cycle that will never cease.

Some days we put too much on our plates (figuratively and literally), other days we push to get out of bed.

We preach and search for a balance whether it is within our faith, our writing, our relationships, what we read, our drinking, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera: we strive for equilibrium (and often fail).

The bottom line: being a human can be EXHAUSTING. OVERWHELMING. SCARY.

But we do it. Each and every second of each and every day. We power through and (most of us) use our human powers to accomplish something important and meaningful.

Waking up every day to decide whether you are going to live as just another rat in a rat race who will end up 6 feet under or as a powerful, influential, beautiful, living soul is a choice we all have to make.

And while it is a curse, it is also a blessing to be alive, on this Earth, experiencing the love, the passion, the adrenaline, the sights, sounds, smells, and hair-raising  sensations of being human.

One of my favorites of these opportunities to feel the blood running through your veins and to embrace every emotion that exists is to find a place of massive proportions, made entirely of organic substances: rocks, water, grass, flowers, dirt, wind, wildlife. And stand in the middle of it. Let every aspect of this place take over. Let the wind blast against your bare skin, let your body grow uncomfortable, close your eyes and beg for a bird to sing his song. Take just one second or three and focus on the air moving throughout your lungs. Put your face to the sky and feel the rays give you an extra freckle on your beautiful, fragile skin. Let your emotions take hold: cry, smile, laugh. Let your body feel the movement of the Earth and respond in its most natural way. Allow yourself to be vulnerable amongst the Earth’s most beautiful and unforced phenomenons that we take for granted all too often.

We are so focused on making a difference and leaving a footprint that we forget we are simply renting space on this beautiful floating ball of water in a starry galaxy filled with creatures and sensations we will never know. We are not here for long and sometimes it is necessary to feel the reciprocal relationship between what we can offer the world and what the world can offer us.

Escape from your concrete jungle for a day. Find a rock to climb, a hand to hold, a breeze to feel on your skin. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Embrace human emotions. Empathize that being alive is overwhelming and sometimes can push you to the limits- but on those days, find something that helps you remember, we are a FRACTION of the miracles roaming this planet and at the end of the day, although the impact we leave is important, we must be grateful for the impact the world and its beauty has on us. Be aware, be alive, and be cognizant of the fact we are blessed to feel overwhelmed amongst all the beauty that is at our fingertips.